fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
