so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
