we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
