i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
