your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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