i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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