you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
