just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
