Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
