Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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