my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
