I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
