Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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