Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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