she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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