i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
