$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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