Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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