Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize