this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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