Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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