I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
