He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
