last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
