question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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