I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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