brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
