She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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