Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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