Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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