for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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