their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
