i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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