Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You are a genius and a whore.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
