I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you didnt know i had herpes?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
