Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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