just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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