If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
