hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
