So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
