i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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