HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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