its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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