it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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