me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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