well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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