I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
