I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
