C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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