well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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