Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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