i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
