It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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