umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
